She became addicted only 14 years after the alcoholic gave her a drug – telling her that she was a "sherbet dip".
And 28 years old, with three unsuccessful marriages and years of drug abuse behind her, Kerry Katona was suicidal, reports The Sun.
It was just the thought of her five children – Molly, Lily, Heide, Maxwell and Dylan-Jorge – who pulled her off the edge.
38-year-old Kerry, who celebrated a girl from the Atomic Kitten group at the end of the nineties, says she has used cocaine for years to help her with mental health issues and personal problems, but that she just made things worse, news.com. au reports.
"I call it devil dandruff because it's toxic, manipulating, giving a false sense of security, it's not exactly there for you, it destroys you," she says.
"It's escapism. Coke is better than facing the scariest thing that's happening in your life." You're constantly bumping that buzz and you do not want to come down. Downstairs are terrible.
"After taking the drug, I used to attack, and my eyes would retreat, and I would be foaming on my mouth. I could die, I could suffocate with my tongue, my saliva."
After years of drug abuse, even Kerry is shocked to be still alive and aware she is one of the lucky ones.
It is tragic that it is too late for her ex-husband, George Kay, 39, who was found dead week after suspected overdose of cocaine – just days after Kerry cursingly warned about the dangers of cocaine.
Devastated Kerry – who shared her daughter, Dylan, 5 – with George – now supports George's family and visited his body in the morgue.
George suffered from mental problems, including anxiety and depression, and Kerry is now more desperate than ever to warn people about cocaine.
She explains how her drug addiction started at the age of 14 when the most powerful thing most kids would try to do is cigarettes.
"My mother was a lesbian at the time, and she was with her girlfriend in this cafe and she had this bag of white powder," Katona said.
"She said," It's a sherbet, "he dipped his finger in the bag and put it in my mouth.
"I went back and sat with my mother and everyone was happy dead and I got this massive wave of adrenaline – I thought it was what people have to do.
"I worked Cocaine every weekend after that, I just thought that they all did it.
"I would save my pocket from my foster parents and go for a cocaine bag. I thought people who do not snob drugs."
The use of cocaine among young people in the UK is on the rise, with 20 percent of the 16-24-year-olds they received last year.
Both British Love Island stars Mike Thalassitis and Sophie Gradon had cocaine and alcohol in their systems when they took their life.
Kerry continued to take cocaine during her Atomic Kitten day – using it to help with the fame she says she was flooding – but she managed to cleanse her after Westlife star Brian McFadden in 2002, moving him to Ireland and She has two children, Molly and Lily.
However, their marriage broke down in 2004 and Brian went to the exit of the Austrian singer Delta Goodmers after their divorce.
Kerry had a nervous breakdown and ended cocaine.
"I felt suicidal, I felt dirty, I did not have friends, I was constantly in the other world," she says.
"When I finally realized what my habit was doing, I had to fight it."
Despite all the odds, Kerry managed to clear himself ten years ago.
She says she hit the bottom sitting in the parking lot with her mother, working on the lines of cocaine.
"I wanted to do it no more. I do not want that. I wanted to get out of my skin," says Kerry.
She applied for a gym with her mother before going to rehabilitation in Arizona and has since been clean.
"My greatest achievement, apart from my children, is the fact that I have turned my life," says Kerry.
But while she was lucky enough to escape from her addiction, she sees that other young celebrities may not be so happy.
She explains that celebrities often end up taking cocaine while paying for themselves to appear in nightclubs – so they can stay awake all night and have fun with people who come to see them.
"When I was at Atomic Kitten, we all got drugs all the time," she says.
"When you're new to the circle, think:" Oh, well, I want to be like those other celebrities who get off the head. "
"Everyone is trying to make a quick, quick bucket of them and they get reservations for as many PAs as possible.
"You are constantly drinking at these events and eventually turning a cocaine or any other drug to keep you in the game for a while and be sure you can stay awake all night as people expect you to."
But Kerry warns that when you have cocaine in your claws, it often can not be returned.
She says she took so much cocaine to foam on her mouth and fainted, and then she started again.
"I would then come back if I felt like I was born again. It was an incredible feeling. I would be back and had a second line," she says.
After 10 years of rehabilitation in Arizona, Kerry was given tattoos to stop suicide.
"When I went to Arizona for rehabilitation, when Brian left me, when they asked me about my childhood … When I talk about my childhood, I spoke like it was scripted and I was joking because it was a defense mechanism, " she says.
"But in rehabilitation, they really rubbed the layers back and became really deep and that really affected me."
Kerry says her first memory is about her mother who tried suicide when she was three years old – something that went on for Kerry's entire childhood.
"When I was educated about mental health, I even went to Oxford University, did not study as a guest, and we did a little research on whether it was DNA, whether it was a learned behavior or it was genetically.
"I was sitting on rehabilitation and I had the Bureau, and I wrote the names Molly and Lily on my wrist because I thought it was genetically, and if I went to self-harm, it was a reminder of how I felt when my mom wanted to take it away my life, because I felt worthless. "
Kerry sympathizes with modern celebrities that catapult to fame – and then they see their stars fade quickly.
"The thing about people like (Love Island competitors) Mike and Sophie is that they were thrown into the industry and then they were suddenly just left after they had 15 minutes of fame," says Kerry.
"But once you taste this glory – you are invited to all the best parties and when people want to paint you all the time – and then suddenly everything stops, that's it."
"I think that fame is in itself a drug for many people.
"If you have problems, you do not feel like you can face it without any problems in your system. Even if you are real, you are a scary thing."
"As the saying goes," a bit of Dutch courage, "and you will drink a drink, and then you may have a line of cocaine, and then go a step away.
"Many people fear that they will be their real being, because they are so lost in this false reality of drugs and alcohol, they no longer know who they are."
"It's a scary thought you're looking at in a mirror, not as a person you've become.
"I understand 100 percent why people who get known so early and get into drugs want to take their life. Definitely, there is a fundamental question to begin, but it's such a balloon we live in this industry."
It's a cycle that Kerry luckily managed to break through. And, unbelievably, she even managed to forgive her mother.
"My mom was not stable and had a lot of mental health problems," says Kerry, who was in foster care, but visited her mom on weekends.
"Now I realize that she used drugs like speed and cocaine for that, and she was also an alcoholic.
"We need to look at why people are taking cocaine – and get the help they need before it's too late.
"There is always a fundamental reason why they did it and why it escalated.
"I understand how this is incredibly difficult for people. I have so many DMs who are looking for advice on coke, alcoholism and mental health.
"I am not a professional, but I tell them that you will pass it, because if you can turn it around, everyone can turn it around.
"If you have some sort of problem, if you think it's out of your hands, you reach out and talk to someone – nothing is worth taking your own life."
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